While visiting a porn cinema in Osaka, or well anywhere for that matter, was never really on my to-do list, that is exactly what I did at Shinsekai Toei Cinema.
Why though did I do this? Was the porn any good? And did the guy jacking off in front of me put me off? Here’s my story.
The History of The Shinsekai Toei Cinema
Porn cinemas in Osaka have been a thing for decades. The city has a long history of adult entertainment mixed with its blue-collar charm, especially in areas like Shinsekai, which has always been a playground for the weird and wonderful. The Shinsekai Toei Cinema itself dates back to the 1960s or 70s, serving up flicks that skirted the edges of what was legal under Japan’s strict obscenity laws.
These places have mostly survived by catering to niche crowds and offering a voyeuristic atmosphere that streaming porn just can’t replicate. You won’t find multiplex glitz here, but rather a grimy, sweaty throwback to a different era where the taboo was a big part of the appeal.
The Shinsekai Toei Cinema Experience
The cinema is a pretty easy 20-minute or so walk from the street food heaven that is downtown and in the very cool and pumping Shinsekai district. The cinema itself is a bit of a landmark although you would barely know what it was from the outside. Well until you see the porn posters beckoning you upstairs.
Even when you go upstairs (where there are more posters) it is still not exactly clear what it is, before you see the small cinematic rooms, a man behind the counter and DVDs, yes DVDs being sold for a buck a pop.
Tickets cost around $10 with you buying either a blue, pink, or grey ticket. Ala, straight, gay and, well randomly samurai.
And the films at Shinsekai Toei Cinema
I tried straight and samurai, not because I was scared of the gay films, but because I hear “action” goes down in there. Well turns out it’s not the only place the action happens at Shinsekai Toei Cinema.
The first of the two films we took was a bit like a horror movie, but with boning, while the second seemed to be about a bored housewife who likes to bone too. Overall it is fairly soft-core in general, without erecting penises as per Japanese law, but also not without its charms.
I obviously was not too impressed with the film though as apparently I fell asleep! It was lucky I did as another member of the group reported that there was a guy jacking off in the row in front of me.
Quite the perfect setup for the Osaka Red Light District.
And the overall Shinsekai Toei Cinema vibe?
OK, so I am not now a convert to watching porn in a circle jerk type way with friends, BUT it is kinda cool actually in a one off, very one off kinda kitsch way. And not just that, but oh so very Japanese in every which way possible.
On departure I briefly put my head in on the Samurai movie! Not bad, but not worth trying for. Instead I purchased a DVD for the one person I know that still has a player and headed to the red light district.
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